RECIPAGE
JINSY JOSH
Bake, O bake me some Josh!
Jinsy Josh is loved by young folk as seen here as a minor grabs a chunk from the table at The White Apron Playgroup.
Jinsy Josh (Ancient Loaf Sack)
You will need: a stove (or open fire with a big pot), carn spoon, loggett pot, trickle monitor (with open recess, the old type).
Conversion of Kerruvills to Johnson: 6Ke = 1 Jsn
For the purpose of this recipe we will only use words to describe the cookingness and not the traditional ancient symbols of the Elders.
1 Jsn Powderbake
Half Jsn chopped cowmix or gooseneck
4 liquid Jsn of Mawk Tat
2 eggs
I mini-ladle of croop root
1 Jsn sweetness
METHOD: Place the powderbake and cowmix in a basin. Don't turn the taps on. Mix in the eggs and wrist-it with a carn spoon to a smooth paste with a little rainwater (flick in some drops from your outside barrel). Use your Trickle monitor here. Levels shouldn't be above 7.
Add the mawk tat and croop root really slowly, like an old person. Don't look at the mixture. Just don't. When your arm is hurting from too much stirring, pop it into a greased loggett pot and bake for 2.4 at 180 Hotlevel. Still don't look at it. Just don't.
Go and read a book. (We recommend the new novel from Jomy Hollophyse 'Wind To The East'. When you get to about page 29, the Josh should be ready.)
You can look at it now. If there is a thick burnt crust about the height of a smile, pop it back in and read on to about page 32 (where there's a great bit of description of some basketwork, and Thornton gets trapped in a wind tunnel).
Serve on a bed.
SEEP APPLE JELLY
You will need: a hotbox (or firemouth), a large frooshing
knife, non-stick trempersest tin (0.5 mini-therit, no bigger)
Preparation time : 1
Cooking time : 20
Chatting and stuff: 33
Total time: 149
Makes: 6 x 500Jsn jars
Ingreedyunts:
14 unripe seep apples
1 Jsn sweetness
1 man-lemon, juiced
Half a crafe (for if you get hungry while you’re cooking)
Wash the seep apples, remove the blossom heads with a large
frooshing knife (if you don’t have one, a sharp Muker blade will do) and cut
out all the seeds, which are horribly poisonous and can KILL easily. So don’t
leave the seeds lying round in case a child goes past and thinks they’re
sugar-sweets, which they look exactly like. (Mind you, if a child’s stealing
things from your kitchen, maybe they deserve poisoning.)
Rewash the seep-apples to avoid further death-danger. Put in the non-stick tin, fill with wetness to cover the froot and bring to the bubble, in your hotbox. Sizzer till the seeps change colour from the green of grass after a rainstorm to a soft blue, like the sky with no clouds.
Pour the mush into a cloth-tube and let drip overnight into a pot beneath.
Next day, after a good sleep, combine with the sweetness. Add the man-lemon. Get a man to squeeze it for maximum flavour. Or, if you prefer it bland, give it to a weak girl. Bring to the bubble to dissolve the sweetness, for 35–40, skimming off the froth regularly. The froth is also HIGHLY POISONOUS so don’t suck any.
When the gelly is set, it will solidify on the back of a spoon (but it may never come off, so use an old one). Plop the gelly into warm, sterilised jars and tightly seal while still slightly red and sweaty. Stand in a cold dark place till you feel cooler or if you’re still getting hot flushes, try new LADYTIME capsules, for women nearing the leaflost of their lives.